the other night i awoke at 3:30 am feeling sickened...the only reason i relate this point is to emphasize that the mammal did not wake me up...he came in a half an hour later bumbling and fumbling...he put on air america, grabbed an i.p.a. from the fridge, and fiddled around for some food...the mammal does not keep food in the house of course...he always eats out by his own admission...and because i had recently bedded down in the domicile i did not have much...i could hear him rifling through my cereal, drunkenly gnawing at the oats and grain...the moral of the story of course is 'eat your dinner' and do not leave leftovers...because although the hairy mammal will not cook your food at four a.m...he does know how to use the microwave...and will heat up anything, unremorseful at four in the morning or the day after...

*author's note: at this point the author does not care about the mammal occasionally eating his food...but we will see in the future if he has to start buying for two...due to the mammal's voracious appetite...